Divorce Preparation: Step 11 - Keep a diary

This post continues are series on practical steps to take when a divorce is imminent. We are now on Step 11: Keep a diary/calendar

It is important to documents all of the major events that occur until the divorce is final. Your lawyer will likely want your help in reconstructing a chronology (a list in order by date) of the major events that led to the filing of the divorce. Additionally, you should begin keeping careful records of new events and incidents as they occur. Simply note the date, what happened and any witnesses that may have observed it. In the unfortunate event that your case drags on, events will begin running together and your memory may fail you. Don't rely on it.

Instead, keep an ongoing diary. Then provide this to your lawyer periodically so he is aware of any significant facts in your case. I do not usually want a copy of the client's diary/calendar. However, I do recommend, especially in contested/difficult parenting time cases that the client keep a diary of problems with the kids, drop offs/pick ups, coordination, etc. It helps immensely when we are preparing a motion or for a hearing and we have dates and details rather than trying to rely on memory about what happened. 

I should note that you really should discuss this recommendation with your lawyer before implementing it. Some lawyers may not want you to have an ongoing record like this because it could be obtained by the other lawyer during the discovery phase of the trial (something that could have a negative effect on your case). Or, they may want you to take certain steps to attempt to protect it from begin discoverable by the opposing lawyer. These are technical legal issues beyond the scope of this blog. Suffice it to say that you need to talk this over with your lawyer first. In my experience, the Courts do not want a copy of your diary, so attorneys are not asking for it in discovery. The Court wants to hear from you, on the stand, what happened. The diary/calendar helps you to remember what happened when and most importantly details about what happened.