9 Ways to Reduce The Pain & Expense Of Your Divorce

1. Choose a lawyer who is a skilled negotiator and a skilled trial attorney. Generally, it is best for both parties to settle their case as soon as possible. Remember only about 10% of divorce cases go to trial. When you settle soon, you and your spouse save time, money and emotional turmoil. So, you need a skilled negotiator who knows when to compromise and when to take a stand. If negotiations are not successful, you need someone with courtroom experience who will present your best case to the Judge for the best outcome possible. If your attorney is not taking cases to trial or hearing, your attorney's threat to "take it to Court" will not mean much. Frankly, in most towns, the lawyers know which attorneys settle everything and never see the inside of a courtroom and which ones are regularly going to Court.
2. Help your lawyer get financial documents and information. Your lawyer can obtain the information through what is called the discovery process. However, if you can obtain it, you can avoid the expense involved by the lawyer handling this aspect of the case. Luckily, in Colorado, many of the Court's forms can be found on the Internet. Don't hesitate to ask your attorney if you can do the first draft of your documents or use a Court form to save time. 
3. Don't seek revenge. This only confuses, inflames and delays everything. When both parties use the legal process to obtain retribution, no one wins - except, perhaps, the lawyers. I do not agree that the lawyers win, hey, we're human too, and it takes a toll on everyone, parties, kids, judges, lawyers, when people duke it out just because they want revenge.
4. Communicate with your lawyer. Your lawyer must know all the facts to adequately represent you and protect your interests. Be honest with him. If you don't understand something, tell him so he can explain it to you. I hate, hate, going to trial and being surprised by something my client "forgot" to tell me. If you don't tell me, I can't help you! I would rather have my client tell me something that "they don't think matters" or they are embarrassed about. At least 1/2 the time, what the client did not think was important, was really important. 
5. If possible, have both spouses and their lawyers commit to end the divorce quickly. This allows you to get on your feet without delay and not drag out the process. Plus, you save money that you can divide with your spouse, rather than giving it to the lawyers. Colorado also has the concept of collaborative law. In this process, everyone involved, lawyers included, agrees to manage the case outside of Court. So negotiation rather than Court is the tactic used. 
6.  Look at your divorce as your opportunity to take control of a new chapter in your life. You are not losing your identity. Divorce is the process of handling the emotional, parenting and financial issues involved in two spouses legally parting. Get emotional support from friends and family, and seek professional counseling if appropriate.
7. Aim for a fair settlement. Your goal should not be retribution. If it is, both you and your spouse will "lose" due to increased legal expenses, a drawn-out process, and additional emotional turmoil. On the other hand, don't "give away the farm" in an effort to try to win back your spouse or out of a sense of guilt. Your objective should be to protect your interests through a fair settlement. Make sure that you understand what the settlement means. 
8. Consider the tax consequences of your property settlement. This is a mistake made all too often, even by some lawyers. Your property settlement often has many tax implications, such as the division of retirement accounts, capital gains resulting from the sale of a home, and the impact of children's dependency exemptions. Your lawyer should advise you about these issues, and you may also need to consult with an accountant.
9.  If minor children are involved, don't use them for your selfish motivations. You should not use them to work out your marital difficulties. Nor should you put them in the middle between you and your spouse. Instead, focus on your children's needs and what is best for them. You will save money, time, energy and aggravation -- and you will help your kids.